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| From left: Donor Anisah, Carol, Madam Rokiah with Khairul, and myself. |
Last Wednesday, Carol Loi, the volunteer manager for our fundraiser for Madam Rokiah, gathered a bunch of us together to visit Madam Rokiah.
With us was Anisah, one of our kind donors. Carol also brought her two daughters — the woman is a supermom and more!
Our call for 30 donors, each donating $30, fell short of 9, but there have been quite a few individuals who are pledging their donations now. We hope to reach 30 by the end of September.
We printed and presented Mdm Rokiah with the list of donors, who have each committed $30 every month for a period of 2 years.
Mdm Rokiah didn't speak any English, but she understood some of what we were talking about. Her younger brother Hirman had been in touch with Carol these past weeks, and was present to talk to us and translate for us.
When we arrived at Mdm Rokiah's three room flat, she was preparing to help her second son with his kidney dialysis. Her youngest boy, Khairul, was also present. Her kitchen was filled with goods from other kind donors — rice, cereal, drinks. "We have so much, we have to share them with others, because there is an expiry date on these items," said Hirman.
Seeing that made me glad we had decided to raise cash for Mdm Rokiah and her family, because likely it was what she needed more.
Hirman told us about the children. Each of Mdm Rokiah's four boys were born normal, but began to show symptoms of disability or developmental problems around the age of 8 or 9. Her eldest son was admitted to IMH but did not show signs of improvement, and so the family has brought him back home to care for him. Her second son requires 10 hours of dialysis every day, during which he cannot move. Her third son is in a special school, and little Khairul has just gone through tests for his IQ. It breaks my heart (and everyone's in the room, I am sure) to hear this.
"People ask 'Why are all the children like this?'" shares Hirman. "We don't think that way. They are our family, we look after them."
Mdm Rokiah's family network is probably her pillar. She has four siblings, and there are always family members in the house, helping her with the children, and taking care of visitors like us. Hirman says that the family gets visitors nearly every day, since the newspaper reports.
It draws near to 8pm when her son's dialysis must begin. Before we leave, Mdm Rokiah invites us to take a peek in her sons' room. Khairul keeps his brother company next to the dialysis machine. The room is small, but neat and clean. I sense despite it all, Mdm Rokiah is proud of her children. It takes great courage for a person as young as her boy — he is only 18 — to go through daily dialysis.
Aminah pulls out a gift she has for Khairul, and she and Mdm Rokiah chat. It is the first time all evening I see Mdm Rokiah smile.
As we leave and go our separate ways, I'm determined not to "feel sorry" for Mdm Rokiah. She is doing her very best to cope with her situation. Loneliness in caring for her four boys without a husband must be the greatest pain she has to bear, but looking at her face, she seems to have a deep peace about her life which I admire greatly.
Certainly we must continue — as individuals or organisations — to support heroes like Mdm Rokiah, who have battled fate's cruel hand and remain steadfast, braving each new day.
Do continue to help us pass on the word. Who knows what life will bring for Mdm Rokiah and her sons the next few years — all I know is that having $600, or $900, or more appear in the bank every month can help put her mind at ease.
You can still donate monthly to Mdm Rokiah. Please contact Carol Loi at carol.loi.puiwan@gmail.com or me at threezframe2@gmail.com for further details.
Theresa Tan
Co-founder, Women Make a Difference
